Benayoun's 87th minute winner for Arsenal away at Villa Park last night hardly set me up for Christmas. My £200 buy of the Gunners' supremacy at 0.9 only netted a £40 profit which just about covered the cost of the wrapping paper!

Anyway, we were out for dinner with friends tonight so I didn't watch a second of the Spurs v Chelsea game. However, that didn't stop me selling £150 of total goals at 2.7 and I'd mentally pencilled in a loss when I found out the score was 1-1 after 25 minutes. Remarkably, it stayed that way and another £105 headed in my direction. Little by little, I was chipping away at the cost of Christmas – that's the spirit eh!

No racing. Why not? If you've finished your Christmas shopping and work is slowing down, surely a few races wouldn't go amiss.

I spoke too soon (and my racing calendar was telling fibs)… Dundalk, even though not actually racing in the eyes of many, staged an evening meeting. There was only one horse I fancied all evening and that was Strandfield Lady in the 8.30pm. I'd watched the mare stay on one-paced over an inadequate trip the previous week and wasn't put off by the early show of 16/1. She ran a cracker and made me £400 for running a gallant second… she was sent off four points shorter so someone knew (or it was the weight of my bet!).

Sadly that wasn't my only bet of the night as I flicked over and got involved in the Farmer v Munch Darts match. I fancied the fat German bloke (appropriately named Munch) and sold £10 of Farmer's supremacy (10 points for win and 3 points per set won by) at 5. Well, Munch got off to a flyer and had some darts at going 2 sets up (should have led 3-1 in the race to 4). He then got very sweaty and proceeded to bottle it losing 4-2 (- 16 points). It was only a £110 loss but irritating all the same.

It's not easy playing Father Christmas when you've done your bollocks on the NFL, but that's what I had to do. I secured a spot in front of the TV to 'wrap up my wife's presents' and proceeded to buy £20 of Denver/Buffalo at 3 and £20 of Cincinnati/Arizona at 5. Well, the joys of Sky's red zone red button feature is you can watch two nightmare games simultaneously!

Everything started well with Denver taking an early 7-0 lead against the Bills and Cincinnati racing into a 23-0 lead against the Cardinals. The problem was that Buffalo then went nuts and scored 17 points in the second quarter. They carried on where they left off in the third and fourth quarters and stormed to a 40-14 victory… a nice £580 loss.

To add to my festive cheer, Arizona staged a last gasp comeback and even though they were denied victory, they still pulled it back to a 23-16 game meaning a £40 profit rather than something considerably more.

I tiptoed into each of the kid's bedrooms and placed their stockings at the foot of their beds… then came downstairs to try and get it all back on the San Diego/Detroit game. I bought £20 of the former at 3… they lost 38-10. I wonder whether the real Father Christmas did the same thing. I reckon he was too busy!

A truly wonderful day with the kids… seeing their faces as they un-wrapped their stockings made the horrors of last night a distant memory. Like everyone else… ate too much and didn't place a bet. I hope you didn't… anyone who had a bet in the Australia v India Test match go and stand in the corner!

Boxing Day used to be a massive sporting marathon when I was young, free and single. Now, it's a carefully stage-managed event that involves keeping the family sweet while not missing a race or kick. It's a difficult art, but one I've nearly managed.

Things began well at Kempton with Our Mick (£10 buy at 14) landing the 1.25pm race (I got up from lunch to go and put 'another log on the fire' – that's not a lavatorial euphemism by the way). Silviniaco Conti did little damage by finishing a good second to Grands Crus, while Binocular (£10 buy at 28) meant I headed into the King George still well over £500 up.

As I told you last week, I was all over Long Run and still have the betting slips with 13/8 written on them to prove it. They are of course worthless now, but yet I feel no Denver/San Diego-like pain as watching Kauto Star sail to his fifth King George was poetry in motion. I wouldn't have wanted anything else… other than him falling at the last and Long Run winning!

Alfie was given a three foot high toy crane by his Godfather and he needs it to lift his father's chin (and stomach!) off the ground. Christmas is all about 'seconds', but backing the runner-up in both the King George and the Welsh National takes the biscuit. Giles Cross ran an absolute belter and had a 10 length lead coming to the second last… my £10 buy at 16 looked home for all money. It was painful to watch!

The only good news was I bought £200 of Spurs' supremacy against Norwich at 0.8. I kept flicking over between that and 'My Big Fat Gypsy Christmas' and the game looked certain to be a goalless draw until Bale popped up twice in the second half… £240 for sitting on my arse.

The whole family are going up to London to see Shrek the Musical with my parents… they are taking us rather than being in the show itself. That said, Mum would make a great Princess Fiona! The show starts at 2.30pm which is five minutes before the Lexus Chase starts out in Ireland. I'm having a big bet on Quito De La Roque and may have to 'go and put a log on the fire'! What price he finishes second?